Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear Treadmill, I hate your stinkin' guts

Listen, I hate treadmills because they beep at me too much:

"put your hands on"
"take your hands off"
"adjusting speed because you don't know how fast you wanna go"
"adjusting incline because you don't know how high you wanna climb"
"put your hands back on"
"blah blah blah blah"

Maybe I'm a control freak but I hate the idea of the machine being the boss of my jog, call me crazy but it bugs.

That being said, I ditched my precious elliptical (which I have lovingly named "Bonnie" - doesn't that seem like a good name for a faithful friend?) tonight and got on the treadmill ("Gene" - doesn't that seem like a good name for something ultra-lame?) instead.

I did it because it seems that the healthiest people I know prefer the treadmill (Hi Jillian and Bob!), so (since nobody was watching) I thought I'd give it another chance.

It wouldn't let me run, then it wouldn't let me walk, and it had me stuck at that stupid awkward pace where it's not fast enough to merit a jog but if I try to walk I will fall off.

Then it beeped at me for not holding the things (which are relatively useless anyway right?) and then it beeped at me for holding them while I was running (which is "not recommended"). So why did you tell me to hold them in the first place? Stupid Gene.

So I'm left wondering - what's the deal with the treadmill love affair? Why do people like it? What makes it better than the elliptical? Why wouldn't I completely abandon it and go crawling back to Bonnie begging for forgiveness for cheating on her with something as horrible as Gene? What am I missing here?


  1. So, the only times that I have had a successful run on a treadmill have been when I just put it in manual mode, find the right speed for me, and turn up my ipod to ignore the beeping! I guess that makes me a disrespectful runner to everyone else in the room...but it works! (I much prefer hitting the pavement, but only if it's not gonna give me lung cancer or cause me to freeze to death)

  2. I like the treadmill only because I sweat more and that makes me feel like I'm getting a better workout (which is probably a myth anyway).

    By the way, you looked really great yesterday. Do you go to the clubhouse gym?

  3. I debated between getting an elliptical or a treadmill. I'm with you, I opted for the elliptical. If I really want to run, I'll do it outside. Plus, I don't like running when I'm pregnant. (not that I am pregnant, just thinking for the future)

  4. I don't like the elliptical cause my toes go numb. I'm not exactly sure why, but they do and it's annoying. lol Treadmills suck too. I think I'd rather tough it out in the cold and run on the street. Oh yeah, I totally agree, put it on manual mode, it won't tell you what to do. It's much better.

  5. Love the elliptical because it's non-impactive. Hate it because it makes my toes fall asleep, too.

    You should come meet my bike.


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