Thursday, June 26, 2008
Thing like "The HOA" is pronounced "da ho-uhhh" like its a word instead of "the h. o. a." like the abbreviation that is actually is.
One time she and Randy thought they were rappers and rapped about going to the library. "baby's in the backseat. what? the backseat. what?".
She makes up actions to songs. ("my hands are shakin' from carryin' this torch" from Dan in Real Life...she shakes her hands, (like jazz hands) and carries the torch (like the statue of liberty) and now those are some lyrics I will never forget as long as I live.)
She had a roommate who was the -est of everything. "That's scary like a scary Jen Ford" (Jen Ford being the roommate) or "That's yummy like a yummy Jen Ford".
She taught me about "dainties" and "beefers" and dainties stuck in beefers bodies and vice versa.
Bottom line, she's hilarious. BUT one of my favorite nicknames of all time is "the putrid feds" that means the IRS as far as I can tell. It might include all branches of federal government, but right now the only ones she cares about are the IRS cuz they take all of her money.
When the announced the economic stimulus plan, they had a website calculator that would tell you how much you're getting. When Kate and Rand got less than the "Putrid Feds' calculator" said they should. They became that much more putrid.
On the other hand, Josh and I got NOTHING. Not one penny from the Putrid Feds. And they became the putridest of all the putrid feds. And then they were putrid like a putrid Jen Ford. But, now they're just Feds because we got our economy stimulated!
We e-filed our taxes, we paid with our bank account, BUT for some reason we got on the "these people are old fashioned and they get a paper check through snail mail" list instead of the "these people are cool, young, and hip, and they have no fear of giving us their bank account number, so they paid their taxes electronically" list. So, we had to wait an extra month or so - but it is still exciting.
In short, yay for the stupid plan to stimulate the economy. Good job stupid-putrid feds. Now we're going to pay off our student loans, buy gas, and groceries. That's the economy we're stimulating.
It started at 7:00 - so I rushed home to make ice cream and get our house looking clean and pretty. Josh (thank goodness for amazing husbands) came home after an incredibly frustrating commute (it took him like an hour to get home when it should've been 15 minutes) and helped me with EVERYTHING. He'd done the shopping so we had ingredients, he vacuumed (my most hated chore), he helped pick up clutter, then helped me make the ice cream. He's seriously amazing. Then while the ice cream was freezing, we sat and waited for people to show up.
At 7:05 Josh asked if everybody was normally late. I said yes.
At 7:11 Josh asked how many people would come. I said I didn't know.
At 7:15 Josh asked if I would be embarrassed if nobody came to my party. I said yes.
At 7:16 Josh asked how embarrassed I'd be - like should he go shopping for chocolate now, or would I be OK?
At 7:18 I told Josh I didn't care if nobody came because at least nobody would know that nobody came, and that was a good thing somehow...
At 7:20 I read my e-mail from the ward and realized it didn't start until 7:30. Whew! Side-stepped that one!
Anyway, at 7:30 people showed up, ate ice-cream and talked about the book. If you haven't read the book yet - you probably shouldn't read on because I'll probably ruin the ending. If you don't care, then feel free. :)
One girl in our ward, Rachel, absolutely HATED the book because she thinks it was immoral of Wanda to take over Melanie's body. Which I think is insane because "aliens taking over humans is immoral" just sounds crazy to me.
BUT when we talked about it more, I could see where she was coming from, and it lead to an interesting discussion. Once Wanda realized that her entire existence was based on something immoral, how quickly did she act? Rachel's point was that she should have immediately changed her ways, BUT I thought that she was no different from anybody else. The last time I recognized that I was doing something wrong in my life, I didn't immediately drop everything, sacrifice my entire race and all of my most sacred secrets. Well, OK that's never really happened to me, but I can't imagine immediately turning around and "betraying" my entire population. So, I was OK that it took her a while to figure out the best way to correct her actions. For Rachel, that period of time was unacceptable.
Anyway, all in all - I thought it was a good entertaining book. Not life changing, not obsession-worthy, just a good entertaining book that lead to some interesting discussions.
I love my ward, and I love our book groups - we have a fabulous time, and I LOVE the other people that come, it's my favorite "club" to be in.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
They do crepes, and frozen yogurt. It's a cool little shop on 400 S and 700 E. Very groovy on the inside, good tunes on, good colors, calming atmosphere, weird designs in the ceiling. I love this place. I had it for the first time on Saturday. Fruit crepes, and the most Divine frozen yogurt ever to cross these lips.
It's been 48 hours, and I don't know if I can make it another day, I think tonight or tomorrow is the day for frozen yogurt. The biggest blackberries I've ever seen are calling my name.....
On my way home though - I realized how truly nuts I am. There was a commercial on the radio with Governor Huntsman talking about Utah and how it's nice here because businesses still want to be here and people want to move here even though the economy everywhere else on the planet is in the toilet. Plus the air is clean and we have mountains. At the end of his commercial, he said something about how "that's why I truly believe Utah is the greatest state in the nation."
I know it's insane, but I seriously had to choke back tears. I told Josh that a commercial about how cool the state is made me cry on the way home. The look on his face was probably pretty close to the look on yours right now. "How emotional do you have to be to cry over something like that?" The answer? Very. Very very emotional.
I wish there was a good reason to explain my unreasonable tears....but it looks like I'm just a crazy-emotional girl today.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Josh and I have different opinions of police men - I like them, Josh.....not so much. So, when I saw the flashing lights, oddly my stomach didn't drop, I didn't get nervous, I didn't "KNOW I was busted", and I didn't even worry about being pulled over.
I quickly pulled my leg off the dashboard (yes, I put my left leg up on the dashboard when I'm driving an automatic....it's comfortable) and moved to the right lane. I just wanted to get out of the way of the guy behind me, so I pulled over into the right lane, and then off the side of the road. THEN I noticed that he was following me. He stopped right behind me. And then for some strange reason - the man got out of his car! It seriously took me a minute to figure out what he was doing.
I looked down at the speedometer (it said 0, which didn't help me at all in my quest to figure out why I was being pulled over). I looked at Josh - who was looking at his computer. I looked at the dashboard to see if there would be any hint there (wouldn't it be cool if there was a little screen that gave you hints. Like "your brake light is out" or "that cop saw your leg up on the dashboard and that's not safe" or "Josh isn't buckled" or "you're going 20 over the speed limit duh"?). Then maybe when he came up I wouldn't have looked so stunned.
"Do you have your license on you tonight?"
"Registration and insurance?"
I handed over the goods - one at a time. Josh has never been asked for insurance before so he didn't know to grab it with the registration. Weird.
"Where you headed tonight?"
"umm...to visit some friends." I couldn't look at his face when I talked....his face was too close to my car and it kindof freaked me out.
"Any reason you're in such a hurry?"
"I'm actually not in a hurry at all."
"Then why were you speeding?"
"I didn't know I was."
"The speed limit on this road is 60. I clocked you at 78."
"I had no idea I was going that fast, I'm REAL sorry" I did my best attempt at "sad, pathetic, I'm harmless" eyes. Only I couldn't look at him cuz his face was right behind my ear and it freaked me out. It didn't work.
"I'll be right back with you." He lied. He wasn't RIGHT back anywhere.
I think cops intentionally sit in their cars about 20 times longer than necessary. It gives the offending driver longer to figure out why they weren't paying attention. Also, longer to speculate as to whether they get a warning or a ticket. Longer to panic and try to figure out how much exactly 18 mph over the speed limit is going to cost. Longer to apologize and freak out with their passenger. Longer to decide if they really were going that fast.
While he was gone, I kept looking in the rear view mirror - I couldn't have been going that fast, I just came out of a red light! PLUS all the cars around me were going at least as fast as I was. Why did he pull me over? Is that thing they say about red cars true? It must be, because I NEVER get pulled over. Ew. 60 mph? What kind of speed limit is that? This road is like the freeway? There's NOTHING on that road anyway! Geez. 60 mph. That's ridiculous.
This is clearly not my fault for the following reasons. 1) the car is red. I blame Redbox. 2) the road is long - I blame the people in Tooele. 3) the road is boring, I blame the stores that aren't there yet. 4) Josh didn't tell me I was speeding, so technically, HE was the one speeding. 5) I blame Holmes Homes or whoever built Ashley and Jake's house, because if they didn't find such a great house, they wouldn't have moved here anyway. Stupid Holmes homes. 6) The dirty rotten government just changed the speed limit here just to catch me. It's their fault too.
After a LONG time of thinking all of those things - the officer came back with my ticket.When he finally returned, Josh asked him when/where he clocked me, because I had just slowed down at that light. He let us know that it was before the light, it took him a while to get turned around and catch up.
"Slow down and be more careful" he advised me before heading on his way.
"Okay, thanks." I waved when we drove away. Seriously? He should have arrested me right then and there. Who in their right mind thanks an officer for a ticket?
I say stuff like that all the time. Just the wrong canned response at the wrong time.
I'm passing someone I don't know on the sidewalk.
"Hey." the do the little parakeet nod.
"Fine thanks, how are you?" I respond. They don't really care how I am - if they did, they'd ask. Actually even if they didn't they'd ask anyway, so the fact that they didn't ask, clearly means they REALLY don't care.
The lady at the drive through window.
"Thanks for choosing Arby's."
"See ya later!" I bounce back. Am I really going to see them later? I hope not, and if I do I hope I don't recognize them....how often do I go to Arby's anyway? Not that often.
After talking to someone on the phone
"I'd better get going I have to ______."
"Yeah, it's good to see you too." I respond
And probably the worst.
"Here's your ticket, don't forget to show up in court, you have to pay between 5 and 14 days later, otherwise they'll issue a warrant for your arrest. Also you probably have to come back to Tooele to go to traffic school. Enjoy the drive, and don't speed again. Good luck paying the 10 million dollars, and I hope the extra 25 minutes I just took from your evening didn't disrupt your plans too much."
"Okay. Thanks." Like I really appreciate that. Oh please!
Anyway, I'm no longer in the "I've been pulled over tons, and never gotten a ticket" club. And I blame Redbox....and the government.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
There were 5 women who sang, each of them dressed in biblical clothes (long simple dresses and head coverings) and they each did an amazing job. It's funny, but I've heard the Women at the Well songs about 10 million times without realizing what they were all about. The tiny bit of narration before each one, combined with the slide show really made me understand the music, and I think that is easily my new favorite Sunday CD (maybe even better than EFY......).
One of the women who was singing was probably one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen in real life. She looked a lot like my Aunt Val, and every time she sang, it was like you could see straight through her eyes to her soul . It was truly amazing.
I was sitting by a friend from the ward, so I tried hard not to cry because I would've been embarrassed, but it was such an incredible performance, it took some effort to contain my emotion. I am so glad that I get to go to events like this in the middle of the week - what a great organization I belong to!
I hope your skin is red and burned like mine. I hope that you, like me, have to put on gloves when it's 90-something degrees outside and 190-something degrees INSIDE your black car, because when you touch anything inside your skin melts onto the thing you touched. I hope you're still too hot, even after swimming for an hour past dark. I hope you never want to go running again because the thought of warming up your body one more degree makes you want to vomit. I hope you start your car (wasting the oh-so-expensive gas) long before you're in it, just so it can cool down. I hope you run from 1 air conditioned area to the next because walking won't get you out of this heat fast enough.
I hope you realize that your persistent complaining about spring - the precipitation, the glorious cool life-water falling from the sky, the overcast days and cool nights, the low power bills, the blankets that never get folded because they're always in use, the windows-open-at-night weather, the sound of crickets that are still alive because they haven't roasted to death in the heat, the green grass and colorful flowers - that whining is exactly the reason that I have to wear gloves to drive home at night. The reason I have to put on MORE clothing when all I really want to do is wear a swimsuit all day while sitting in a lake. You are the reason I'm not going to cook anything all summer because even popcorn is too hot to eat.
That whining is the reason I am grumpy this morning, so to all of your who pined and prayed for warmer weather. Thanks a lot, and good luck dealing with the Wrath of Grumpy Amy.
Monday, June 16, 2008
On our way down I just kept thinking of so many people I love....
When we drove by Scipio and Kanosh I had to think of Hailey, my old roommate. On my first real road trip (to Arizona where she's from) I thought we'd die laughing so hard at the dumb Utah city names. Now I can't see either one without thinking of Hailey.
When we drove by Cedar City, I had to fight to not pull off ask someone if they knew where Stick lived, fortunately I remembered that (1) it probably wouldn't do any good, since that's not her real name, and for some reason I can NEVER remember what her real name is when I need to and (2) it's probably not polite to just drop by un-announced because we happened to be driving by the city that she lives in.
Of course when we got to St. George, I had to remember the fabulous trips Josh and I have had there (honeymoon and 1st anniversary). I also remember Tuacahn with Grandma Huggie every time we go which is great.
The red rock makes me think of Blair, a friend from high school who took the time to teach my why "red rocks" are prettier than "normal rocks".
Spanish Fork reminds me of Courtney Clement for reasons that will remain un-published.
Fillmore makes me think of my little brother because his best friend (who wanted to marry me until he turned 10 and realized he had options) moved there and I remember how hard that must have been.
Toquerville, some guy I worked with because he was from there and we made fun of him from it. Also reminds me of Kendal Allen because he's from somewhere like that too.
Anyway, as much as I love and miss all of those people, we had a fabulous time with our sister Misty and her new fiance. Here are some of the pictures, from the highlights of Zion National Park.
Me on a rock - I was brave. Also, I'm sporting the new knock-off cambelbacks we bought at Big 5 (best purchase of our married lives...). We took that same picture when we were there last year (on the right). This year was much more clear (last year the whole place was burning down and we had a "smoke cover") you may not think it's a big deal, but this rock scares me to death. This year I went like 2 steps closer to the edge than last year. :) I'm trying NOT to notice that I've gained like 50 pounds in 1 year....ugh....too depressing.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I was feeling really guilty because last week instead of running my standard "at the very least 3" times a week, I had run not 1 step. In fact, I parked close enough to avoid the walk of shame at work, that's how lazy I was.
I was also a little concerned, when you don't run for a week and a half, chances are you'll not do as well as you did the last time. Or so I though. I was pushing myself (maybe because I was sure I wouldn't be able to do a 5k, or maybe it was because I'm cool) and I beat my record time! (and the peasants rejoiced) I'm so proud of me, it's not even fast, and there are plenty of people who could do it faster with a lot less "training", but it was good for me, so I'm proud. I did the whole 5k in 29 minutes. To celelbrate I ate 2 oreos - fat lotta good that did me.....
Monday, June 9, 2008
Do you ever have those moments when you say something so incredibly stupid, so thoughtless, and so devastatingly horrific that you look behind you to see what kind of green-goblin creature is back there forcing these words out of your mouth? I do that more often than I'd like to admit; BUT in the true nature of "sharing more than you should on the internet through a blog" I'm admitting it. I say horrible things at the most inopportune moments almost on a regular basis.
The worst part of it is that sometimes I say things to people that I really should be treating with respect and kindness, people like my boss. Ugh.
We have these management meetings, which usually are longer than necessary, and sometimes incredibly frustrating because some decisions really need to be made, but it just doesn't happen. A couple of weeks ago in our meeting, my boss boss, the man who signs my paycheck, the solitary reason I am currently employed, asked me if I'd finished a project. I told him I hadn't had a chance to finish it yet, he made a comment about how it shouldn't be that hard, and I snapped back "if you'd like to do it, you can certainly do it."
What I meant was: "I feel like you've overloaded me with so much work that I don't have time to take a bathroom break during the day, much less worry about whether or not your toothbrush is still under warranty. If you feel like you have the available time, and would like to call the phone number on the receipt, I would not be opposed to that." Unfortunately the room went silent and I realized that what everybody else heard was: "Do it yourself your &#%*&#% old man!" That's one of the many moments that I wish I could grab the words and stick them back in my mouth.
This is an incredibly disturbing habit, but the more disturbing part is when I start to think about the things I've said that weren't followed by awkward silence cluing me in to my ill-mannered remark.
Today Gabe (my less-demanding, more-reasonable boss) and I were talking about "the mormons" because he met with bankers who he knew were mormons because they had on white short sleeved shirts, and only mormons and little boys do that (and my husband).
Anyway, he asked if you're allowed to wear a colored shirt "over ta the church". My first though was that if he walked into a church it didn't really matter what he was wearing because it would immediately burn to the ground anyway. Fortunately my internal editor was on and that horrible thought did not escape my lips (seriously, what kind of example of how nice the mormons are is that?).
However, the conversation continued, and at some point he told me that I once told him he had a "black soul" or a "dead soul" or something like that. I kindof gasped, I'm shocked that anybody would ever say that to another human being, much less me?!?! I'm NICE! I am a kind person, and I see a lot of good in almost everybody. I can't imagine looking at my boss and telling he had a black soul. What a rude, horrible, awful thing to say to a person!
Apparently this was quite some time ago and the fact that he remembers it concerns me. I know he doesn't care much about my opinion, and that's fine, but if he cared enough to remember it.....I feel really bad about it. I don't know how to apologize for something I don't remember saying, and I don't know quite how to tell him that I don't think he has a black soul, I don't know how to fix it, and I don't know how to stop myself from saying things that are so horrible.
It just makes me wonder, who else have I said something so stupid and thoughtless to? If I've ever said anything horrible and green-goblin originated, please forgive me. I'm making a conscious effort to not be a horrible person starting now.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Every time I was having a sleepover, when it was time to go to bed, my daddy would come downstairs (where my friends and I were up giggling and playing) he would kindly, but firmly, remind us that we asked if we could have a SLEEPover, and that it was very clear that part of the deal required us to sleep. He would turn out the lights, and we'd slowly fall asleep. My dear sister, Katy, finally caught on and started asking if she could have sleepLESSovers. She's smart, of course my parents would still say yes, and I think she still slept some...
Needless to say, my sister is one of the best sleeplessover companions on the planet. We went down on Friday night to hang out and play games. She made us yummy pizza (it was fancy, you could tell by the herbs on top of the toppings...) we played games with my parents, with ourselves, and just when it was getting late, we started talking about the soundtrack to Dan In Real Life, we turned it on, and listened to the credits a couple of times, which lead to a conversation about Steve Carrell, which of course lead to a conversation about The Office. Somehow they've only seen an episode or 2. I've seen almost all of them because I borrowed the seasons from Jamie & Cameron, and watched like 4 full seasons in 1 week.
Well, one thing lead to another, and at about 12:30 in the morning, I went to buy the first season at Walmart, and we watched the whole thing before going to bed at 4 in the morning. It was hilarious. Kate and Rand are fun to watch movies with because they laugh at the right parts, and they don't tell you that you're wicked for laughing at the wicked parts.
In the morning, we all ate breakfast (Kate's a real good cook), and while we were eating Ryann randomly started doing all of the actions to "5 little monkeys". She was SO animated, and it was hilarious! We got her to do 1 verse almost as good as she did during breakfast, but I'm struggling with the video upload, so you have to watch it crooked (if anyone knows how to rotate the video, and still have it in a video format instead of WMM format, let me know!). Anyway, it just goes to show that my family is the coolest family on the planet.
Now that Josh is out of school, I'm remembering some of the things I forgot about my husband.
He's a morning person: When Josh starting school, he had to adjust to be a night person so he could pass school. That meant he learned the value of sleeping in. I taught him what Saturdays should be all about (sleeping in until your bladder hurts so bad you think you'll die, then getting up for no more than 2 minutes, and crawling right back into bed because it's still SOO comfy). I thought it would take him a while to get back to his natural desire to be up, showered, and going for the day by 6:30 or 7:00 at the latest. I was wrong. It took him approximately 22 hours to adjust to not being in school. The first day out of school he was ready for bed by 9:30, and of course awake again by 5:30 or 6:00. He tries hard to let me sleep in because he loves me, but it's just not the same when he's not there with me, so I'm trying to learn to be a morning person again.
He doesn't sit around: When Josh and I started dating he was working for/with his dad doing construction/remodels. Josh's dad puts in like 10-12 hour days on a regular basis, and Josh was right there with him. Now that he has a "cushy Redbox job" he has grown accustomed to just working 8 hours, so I thought he'd just hang out with me and we'd watch a movie, play games all night, go on hikes, and do anything else I wanted. Instead, he gets bored and can't sit still and has to be working on something.
We've been wanting to turn the office into a massage room for Josh to start his practice for a while, but have had a hard time figuring out how we can live without a desk. I never sit at the desk and use it because we both have laptops and we prefer to be out in the middle of the house while we work. But, the desk is full of stuff, office supplies, paper, boxes, scrapbooks (Josh's mom is amazing, and scrapbooked his whole life, so we have a lot of scrapbooks), craft supplies, etc. We finally figured out that we could store all of that stuff in the top of the closet, if it just had 1 more shelf between it and the really high ceiling. So, Josh decided to build one. He went to work right away, bought the stuff he'd need, cut it, built the supports, got it ready, and installed it (plus another in the linen closet in our bathroom). So, now we have shelves, and it looks like we'll be able to live without the desk and Josh can have a massage room!
The only down side to the whole thing is that I still miss my husband! Technically he's here, but he works all day long, whether it's on something around the house, doing laundry, dishes, Redbox, or building shelves; he's constantly doing something. He'd work on this project until about 10 or 10:30 every night and refused to stop until it was done.
Well, now it's done, and as soon as Josh gets his license in the mail, he'll be open for business! There are a couple more things I'd like to do to that room to make it a massage haven, it needs curtains and soothing colors and something big and beautiful on the wall, but the table is in there and there's room for him to work around it, and in my mind, that's the most important part.
Who knows what project he'll decide to do next, with no yard, and a brand new house, I don't see the need for many improvements, but I'm sure he'll find something productive to do. I love my husband.
After getting an idea of what style we liked, Randy went to work. We just picked it up this weekend, and WOW. I'm seriously breathless every time I walk into my dining room and see how beautiful it is. I can't imagine anything more beautiful. It is seriously stunning. Anyway, here's a picture of what was formerly my blah-boring-empty dining room wall. How lucky am I?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
People started calling to tell us they would be late on Friday night, so we were pretty sure that we had plenty of time, which turned out to be true. (thank goodness!) Josh's sister and her boyfriend came at the same time as the Egberts, so we started the party, ate food, hung out, played some games. My family slowly showed up, and hung out to play games for quite a while.
We got a new game Josh has been craving (Cloud 9) and we played that until we couldn't anymore. We also played Cahoots - which is a favorite of mine. I thought I would die laughing while we tried to get Josh to say "prickly porcupines predate prickly pare predecessors" like 100 times, he never did it quite all the way out. Even after someone said it out loud, he couldn't spit it out.Josh got a bunch of somebody else's redbox machines dumped on him Friday night, (sometimes I love his boss......) so he had to work Saturday night. Which means I made Katy (my sister) go with me to our ward murder mystery dinner. My ward is really cool - instead of doing flags or a car wash or something lame for our scout fund rasier, they put on this dinner, which was seriously fantastic.
In all, it was a great Saturday!