Sunday, August 17, 2008

Life after change

Something about changing any minute detail of my life stresses me out. Often it's a necessary, exciting, happy change, but it seriosly wipes me out.

When we moved, I didn't think about anything else for months, I stressed about having enough boxes, a big enough truck, enough people to move, enough lysol to clean the new house, enough rags to not spread germs, enough time to pack and unpack. Ultimately all of that paralyzed me and Josh just took care of it. And we're fine. When Josh started school, I was anxious. When he graduated from school, I was anxious. When I quit my job, I was anxious. When I lived on a cruise ship (I know it was just week, but it still counts) I was anxious. Now that I've started a new job, I'm freaked out beyond all reason. I love it, I love the people I work with, I love having a normal schedule, I love running into people I know. I REALLY love the cafeteria. I love everything about it.  The problem is that my life has not yet fallen back in line. I don't have a schedule.

Partly I blame summer because I can't plan my days of the week around what good show is on tv.  Partly I blame the fact that I only own 5 pairs of nylons and there are 5 days in the work week. (Laundry every weekend? I don't THINK so!!!) Parly I blame the "limpics" for binding me to my home all night every night. Parly I blame my husband for wanting to go camping "just one more time" this year. Mostly I guess I blame me for needing "just one more week to get in the groove of things" when in reality I just can't get into a groove of anything.

The obsessive need to write down the things I need to do is taking over my life, I have 42 lists, with none of the items crossed off. I have 1 tired husband who truly doesn't care if that guy with a weird name "sticks the landing". I have 9 days of blogging that I know I'll never get around to. I have 3 photographs that will probably take a month and a half to hang in our room. I have 14 reminders on my calendar that I've been "ignoring" for a week and a half. I have 73 miles to run if I were really going to catch up (yeah right!). And I have 3 home evening lessons starred in my inbox that I really should talk with Josh about...... but I don't wanna because I'm busy!

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