Mr. Dave

This afternoon I got one of those phone calls that makes my blood go cold. Josh called and asked if I got the message he forwarded me from our Executive Secretary. We’ve been comfortably attending church in our ENORMOUS ward that has too many people and not many empty callings. I knew very well we would lie low at least until the ward splits again – that’s supposedly coming up in June. So, I didn’t even suspect any kind of calling for months. “A member of the bishopric would like to see you Wednesday night”. That was this afternoon in the middle of a very hectic day at work. I immediately made the phone call to set up the appointment so I wouldn’t chicken out and blow it off.

On my way over to the church I was praying and hoping that I wouldn’t be put in nursery because I just can’t handle being around babies all the time when I so desperately want one of my own. I seriously break down crying every week after church because everybody else in the entire world has a baby, or will soon, and I know I am the only person on the planet who isn’t a mom right now and it breaks my heart. I seriously knew that if I had a calling that required me to see how incredibly adorable all children are, I would be seriously depressed. I knew I would accept the calling and try real hard to be OK with it, but it would be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life.

Well, when I talked to Brother Royal (who is one of the people in our ward who absolutely blows me away by his goodness) he said that the Primary had a need.....this is where I started to tear up in the incredibly long pause that he leaves before saying what the exact calling will be. He asked me if I’d play the piano in Primary. As soon as he said that my entire being calmed down and I just smiled at him. I told him I would love to. There is another pianist, so we can work out however we want to trade off who plays when.

On my way home I realized how perfect it is to be around kids all the time. During the part of my life when I don’t have any of my own children, I get to borrow an entire ward’s worth of kids for an hour or 2 every Sunday. The fact that it’s piano and not teaching makes it even better because it will require work and practice on my part, but I get to hide behind the piano and be cute and sing. I get to know exactly how things will go during primary, know which songs to practice, get to know the people in the ward who are in the primary, and I get do music!

I haven’t even done anything for the calling (other than running home finding the songs of the year on lds.org and practicing all of them, just in case) and I already love it. It is perfect and I’m THRILLED. I feel like I have a talent that will fill a need, I’ll be challenged, and I’ll learn. I can’t wait to start. I had forgotten how powerful music can be, and that the real purpose is not for American Idol, but to bring the spirit to our lives. I’m so thankful that I am loved and that I know my Heavenly Father is aware of my life, my circumstances, and of course my feelings.