Sunday, April 22, 2007

Yesterday in the afternoon our Elder's quorum has scheduled a "temple day" kindof, we were going to meet in the cafeteria at the temple at 6:00 pm. Josh and I figured we would go to a session before and then meet them there. Josh also had a LOT of Redbox to do because one of the people in this area was on vacation, so he was picking up part of the vacationing person's route. So, yesterday morning, we got up, had breakfast, and went to do Redbox. We were up north - Layton, Clearfield area all day, and it actually looked like we'd get done in time to hit the 4:00 session. So, we hurried home, got ready and ran out the door to go to the temple. I've never been trhying to go to specific session before, and I don't think I realized how long the whole process takes. Anyway, we made it there, and rushed in to change our clothes so we wouldn't miss it. When we went to the chapel, it was EASILY the biggest session I've ever seen. Usually there is plenty of room, and I've never been to a full session before, so that was new to me. Not just new, but intimidating. The room was hot and stuffy and I was REALLY uncomfortable. I was in such a hurry, that I forgot to button up the inside button on my shirt. (It's like a man's jacket, with the button that shows, and the one that buttons underneath where one side overlaps the other....I had only done up the button that shows.) So, I sat down it came undone, i was sitting next to Josh and just buttoned it back up subtley. (I should have taken that as some sort of sign.) That was fine, but I knew it was going to be a problem through the whole session and I couldn't button up the inside button subtley - I decided to keep a close eye on it (we were already late and they were starting) and we'd be OK. Maintaining my level of discomfort, we continued through the session, at one part, I dropped the name card (the person I was doing the work for), and I couldn't find it anywhere, I went to look for it (with the help of the temple workers), and felt really bad, but we couldn't find it anywhere. Everyone was VERY nice, but I was SOOO embarrassed! I started to cry because I'm a big baby, and I couldn't stop, and I couldn't breathe normally and it was horrible! I was not in the room with everyone else, and they were waiting to go on in the session for me, and I couldn't calm down, I don't know what the deal was. I finally kindof regained my composure and went back in the room, still sniffling and gasping for air. We went on through the session and I just kept crying, I was soo embarrased and the whole time I just kept thinking abouthow embarrassed I was, and that made me cry more, making more embarrassed etc etc etc. Anyway, we finally made it through, and people in the session kept coming up to me and telling me it was OK and it wasn't a big deal (if it wasn't a big deal, why did everyone in the room know anything even happened?) and that made me cry more. My husband took me home quickly (he's so good to me) but on our way back to the dressing room I slipped down the stair and just about lost it again. In the dressing room more people came up to me and hugged me, and told me it was OK and I just wanted to go home! I was so relieved that nobody from our ward was there, and we missed the Elders Quorum thing, but Josh did someone else who was coming in as we were leaving and they were nice and didn't know how crazy I am. That was comforting. Now I can laugh about it, but oh my goodness! I thought I would die!!! I did learn a few things though:
1. When people feel the spirit (like in the temple) they are nothing but kind, accepting and loving.
2. One of the workers told me (when I was apologizing) that "the Lord's work happens on his time and it all gets worked out in the end, time means nothing to him".
3. Everybody has embarassing moments, and EVERYBODY understands what that feels like. Even though I'm a bigger spaz than most, nobody in the room came up to me and said "you know, I've never done that before, you should feel stupid because most people aren't so clueless". Not even one person! That's pretty cool.
So all in all, it was a really good session with lots of lessons for me to learn. :) Thank goodness it's over!

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