Dear Toaster Oven, it's over.

Dear Toaster Oven,

I’d been buying my morning bagel for months, when I first saw you across the cafeteria.  It was love at first sight. There you were, your silver casing gleaming in the florescent lights. The warm glow of your toaster-y coils coming from inside. The black plastic knobs already turned to the “bagel” setting just for me.  That morning, I enjoyed my bagel perfectly browned, warm and toasty, the cream cheese melted into the cracks just perfectly. Truly, I knew I’d never love another toaster oven in my life. You were everything I never knew I wanted.

That is why it’s so hard for me to tell you that it’s over. It breaks my heart, but things just haven’t been the same lately. You’ve changed, you’re full of other people’s crumbs, there’s grime coming out of your knobs. Those things I’ve looked past for a few days, but this morning you crossed the line.

Lighting my bagel on fire is inappropriate and inexcusable. I won’t stand for it because I deserve better than that. I’ll never see you the same way again, because you burned me. The blisters on my fingertips may heal, but the scars on my heart never will. I used to think you’d never hurt me, but now I know the truth.

It pains me to do this, but I’ll just have to eat cold un-toasty bagels each morning from now on. I just can’t risk burning down the entire building just because of my feelings for you. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I’m leaving you. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find some other unwitting human whose bagels you can burn. But it won’t be me anymore.

With the tiniest pieces of my broken heart,
Amy