Sunday, January 11, 2009

Are we changing?

Tonight my mom and I had a chat about how much different Relief Society is now from when she was at BYU (almost 40 years ago!). My dad is in a bishopric of a BYU ward and they are seeing college kids as they really are for the first time since they were that age themselves.

She talked about visiting teaching and how nobody does it. I told her that was normal and not to freak out so much about it. I think that made her freak out even more.

We chatted about how hardened "girls these days" are.  I told her it's because we're allowed to wear pants and get degrees.

She voiced her concern that nobody cares that nobody (not even the leadership) attends church on a regular basis. I backed her up in that one because I think it's a valid concern.

The truth is it does concern me, but because it's "my generation" it doesn't freak me out like it does her. I'm disappointed and concerned about the future of the world, but not surprised that girls in college don't want to go visiting teaching. I didn't either. It's hard to want to do something you don't have a testimony of yet. 

Apparently when my mom was in school, she did want to go. In her words "Relief Society was on fire!" but that was back before "Home, Family, and Personal Enrichment" when they had craft night once a week and learned how to sew together. It was also when all roommates shared groceries and took turns cooking meals. Their Relief Society bonded together because nobody had a car or a cell phone so they didn't go home or call their moms for recipes and help. They called each other. Being a woman 40 years ago meant something different than it does now.

Are we missing out on something important using the excuse that "it's different now"? Is reading blogs as good at keeping us together? 
Has Visiting Teaching been replaced with something equally valuable? If so, what is it? 
Is it a "sign of the times" that even the Sisters in the church can't keep active? Have we become so evil and so far gone that we don't even bat an eye when our attendance is at 35%? 
Are we allowing ourselves to be women in spite of the fact that the world demands more of us than ever before? Or are we better off for becoming more? 
Am I taking the time to build relationships with people of all ages like my mom did? Or am I sticking myself with only those people who are my age assuming that older/younger people don't want to be friends with me? 

Bottom line: It's interesting to hear the things my mom is most concerned about now that she's seeing college kids in real life. What I hope is that even though it's different now, we aren't losing who we are in the list of things we are expected to be. 


  1. It's neat to hear I'm inspiring someone. I'm no expert, but if you have questions let me know. :) We need to have you guys over for Settlers sometime too! We're just slackers.

  2. Excellent post Amy. It really got me thinking. Growing up in Illinois the RS was more united- because mormons were scarce.. I thought the RS out here was just a Utah thing :) By the way- I really enjoyed your lesson today. You are a GREAT teacher!

  3. Ditto to what you and they said above me. It's just easier to write ditto. But, truthfully, I do think it's bad how casual we've become with church. That is why my new goal is to be on time (two weeks in a row, baby!) and try harder to pay more attention to the talks/lessons (maybe I'll leave the bread home next week. Ü)

  4. You know... I never knew it was like that 40 years ago. I mean it makes sense, but I just thought this was how things were. Our relief society president got up last week and told us that our Visiting Teaching numbers were below 10% and basically that that is pathetic. I did my visiting teaching once... I did what I like to and baked them cookies. The one girl was home so I met her. The other girl wasn't so i still don't know who she is. I know I really SHOULD do it, but it is far to easy to think of a million excuses not to. I wonder though, what life would have been like back then, because I can't name more than a half dozen girls in my Relief Society off the top of my head. In short, I agree. It is sad that this is normal.

  5. I don't know if it's b/c this is my generation, but I don't know if the problem is really as drastic as all that. I have wonderful visiting teachers. I don't have a perfect record, but I try to be a good visiting teacher. And as hard as it is to find a seat in Relief Society, I kinda think our attendance isn't too bad.

    I do think that we don't rely on each other like women in the RS used to though. I live 15 mins away from family and friends and I have a cell phone to reach any of them at any time. I think we should rely on each other more. It would breed a lot more unity.

  6. Do you and Josh have plans tonight? If not, come watch the Bachelor with us at Ryan and Tiff's. It's at nine. We'd love to see you there even if you don't like the show. Chris will be making fun of it all night, I'm sure. Ü
    You can call me to get their address if you need.

  7. I love our new ward for that reason (not that we didn't enjoy NSL too). We are the young ones (when we were in your ward we were old, perspective :). These older ladies are an example to me. They are always in my bussiness (in a nice way) and they always are looking out for me. It is really nice. I hope I take that away with me through my life.

  8. "I hope that we aren't losin gwho we are in the list of things we are expected to be." Wow, baby girl--that is deep. And all kinds of thought provoking. I'll have to write that one out and think about it some more.


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