Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The First Fist Fight I Ever Saw

You think this is a flashback post going back to my Jr. High days when everyone crowded around the intersection of D and E hall and watched while Tyler the cool kid beat Eugene the nerd boy into oblivion over Lauren the cool girl.

But it isn't. Because when that happened I was in the band room - where nerd girls hang out between classes.

Well if I didn't see a real live fist fight in Jr. High, surely I caught one out by the track in high school right?
No. No I did not. I stuck with nerdiness well into my....oh wait. I'm still a nerd.

But tonight. Well, wow.

Wednesdays are Josh's favorite day because he leaves well before anybody who wants anything of him (me, the boys) is awake. and comes home after the boys are fast asleep peacefully in their beds.

On Wednesdays he has the perfect (sleeping) family. (lucky man.)

That's why I was wrangling the 2 Wild Ones on my own.

I was OK with the demand of sandwiches for dinner.
It was a relief that they wanted a show instead of a dance party.
And when they begged to go straight to jammies instead of baths I wiped my brow and audibly said "whew".
I sat in my usual place on the bed - with room for each boy to get to sit by climb on me, I naively thought we'd just choose some stories and say a few prayers and go to sleep.

Which was apparently WAY too much to ask. Because when Little John started hoarding all the new library books Tommy "The Banshee" Egbert wailed like he'd been shot in the eyeball with an arrow.
Which was fine, until Little John "The Whacker" Egbert decided he'd heard enough of that and took it upon himself to grab a big board book and play whack a mole with The Banshee's head.
The Banshee wasn't going down without a fight, and full on sucker punched The Whacker who crumbled on the spot, but army crawled over to get his revenge....with his teeth.

That's when I finally grew my go go gadget stretch mom arms and managed to keep them in separate corners of the ring room long enough to yell "ENOUGH! You're going to have to put yourselves to bed!" Then using my herculean strength I launched them both into their respective beds, turned out the light, closed the door and told them I hoped they'd make happier choices tomorrow.

Currently Tommy is brushing his teeth (which I gratefully count as putting himself to bed) and John is wailing in his crib because he wants to be allowed to brush his teeth too. He's alternating between requests for "teee teee" (teeth) and "uuuuug uuuuug" (hugs) both of which I typically get him out of bed for.

Hard to believe these boys

just showed me the first real live knock down drag out fist fight I've ever seen live.

This article is much less funny now that I suspect it's true.


  1. Brothers! But also, sisters. I have seen some really awful meanness with words and pushes and pinches and hair pulling and kicking and even punching from my girls. :( sad days.

  2. I complete commiserate with you!! Although, I think the fighting around my house would be a WHOLE lot more tolerable if you were narrating. You are SO funny!! Plus, that article did not make me feel better! ;)


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