Remember that time we had a baby? Part 4

Dr Man walked into the room, pulling on gloves and energetically and said "Well, one way or another we're going to get this baby here in the next 10 minutes. You ready?"

I was ready. I sortof couldn't figure out why we had waited so long anyway, I mean I had checked in the night before for that very purpose, so I don't know why he thought it was some big revelation that we ought to have a baby sometime soon.

3 nurses, Dr. Man and Anesthesiologist were all there coaching me. Anesthesiologist was trying to teach me how to push and said something irreverent about pretending I was pooping. Then she was thoroughly impressed with my pushing skills when it came time. She was really really good at being impressed. I loved her. I wonder if she'd be willing to follow me around and be impressed with me all day long...

That was at 2:15pm. Bubbah was born at 2:19pm.

Since we were in a bit of a rush to get him here, Dr. Man got out the forceps and the scissors. After Josh watched him do the episiotomy he came back up and whispered in my ear about how "that is gonna HUUURT tomorrow!" I rolled my eyes back in my head far enough to read my own mind - but couldn't bring myself to slug him.

Josh was totally into the whole thing, and definitely wanted to cut the cord. But when Tommy's head came out it (the cord) was wrapped so tight around his neck that he wasn't breathing and his heart kept stopping. "Oooooohhhhhhh! THAT'S why his sheet was so crappy." said the nurses. Or maybe that was me. Whatever - I was drugged.

When Dr. Man cut the cord there was so much pressure built up in it, that blood spurted everywhere: all over me, all over the room, and even a little bit on my purse. Good times. The nurses cleaned me up, which was weird because I could feel them wiping down my legs with towels, but I could see that they were scrubbing hard, and I could only feel a little bit of it. So it turns out the epidural did work. On my legs anyway.

They poked and prodded Thomas, put him on oxygen, took his blood, and forced him to cry against his will. The first time I ever saw my baby was from across the room and it was just his tiny little foot while they took his footprint. Perhaps that's why I'm obsessed with his toes...it's the first part of him I ever saw in real life.

I would have liked for them to put his tiny squirmy slimy body in all its disgusting-ness right on me after he was born, but I like more that he survived the first few minutes after the whole experience way better.

The held him up to me for about .2 seconds as they whisked him out the door and down the hall for more help.

And Josh followed.

Dr. Man stayed with me long enough to finish stitching me up then he left too.

So there I was, alone in my delivery room. Babyless. Husbandless. But occasionally being checked on by the new shift of nurses.

I never did hold Thomas in that room. When I insisted that I felt fine 2 hours later, they allowed me to "prove it" by going to the bathroom, which might have been the most horrifying experience I've ever had. I've never seen so much blood in my life. After proving that I could walk, they wheeled me down to the room that would be ours for the next two days.

They brought me the sweetest and most fragile baby in the whole wide world and told me he was mine. Josh came back and together we started being parents.

People came to visit, made all kinds of comments on who he looked like and just how beautiful he was. Grandma Egbert breathed a sigh of relief because "thank goodness he didn't get those weird Egbert toes!" and we all breathed in the beauty of the new baby.