Confessions

So, it turns out that my husband loves me. He asked me last night what time I needed to leave for work and got up early early today so he could do all of his computer/home stuff before taking me to work and going to work himself. He's a real nice fella. He totally got me to work on time, and it was kinda nice to be able to talk to him on the way. I think I realized that I was missing that. As strange as it sounds, I'm secretly glad that we share now. I look forward to mandatory bondage.

I hate my job. I decided that I don't like it anymore. My boss is quite unreasonable, and it takes over my life, and I don't want it to. I'm tired of working nights and weekends, and I just want to have a job that I can leave at work.

I also don't like that I spend so much time doing things that are good for one person, but are really bad for so many others. I feel like I spend my whole day squashing people that shouldn't be squashed. I hate that feeling.

So, I submitted a couple of job applications at the church for secretarial positions. And Jamie's department is hiring soon, and I'll submit when they do it too. I'm ready to work for a good company. I want that now. So, there's my secret. I didn't dare tell anybody because I'll feel dumb if I don't get it, but, Sarah pointed out that if I can't tell anybody about my failures, nobody is my friend anyway, so why do I care? So, here it is. I'm applying for other jobs and I'm scared out of my mind.

I'm also terrified to quit here, I don't want to bring the wrath of David on myself, and I feel a little guilty about abandoning Kim, but I decided that I have to do what's best for me. And if I get a job offer that sounds/feels better, I'll do it, and if not I'll be a grown up and keep working for people I'm scared of.

Sigh. Wish me luck!