It's 4am and I'm blogging

Because my child woke up at 2:23.

Since then the longest period he's gone without screaming is exactly 1 minute and 3 seconds and that's the longest by about 1 minute and 2 seconds. I know because I've been timing his cries so I don't go in there every 10 seconds trying to sooth him when it's impossible.

He screams.

I set the timer.

I go in 10 minutes later. He's screaming.

I try his binkie, but you can't suck and scream at the same time, and we all know that when the sun is down and the world is asleep screaming is far superior to sucking.

I "sooth him" (which really just means I hold his clenched fists) for 2 or 3 minutes at which point my brains start to leak out of my ears.

I leave closing the door on me screaming child and set the timer again.

His throat is gonna hurt tomorrow. And he earned every second of it.

My eyes are gonna hurt tomorrow. And I earned every second of it.

Did you know that since I woke up an hour and a half ago I'm the only person I know who has updated my facebook status?