Monday, March 31, 2008

Little did I know!

OK you have to see this! I never knew there was another way to fold shirts like this and I'm AMAZED!!! I watched it about 10,000 times and then came home and watched it more times while I tried to fold ever shirt I could find. Amazingly, it's not that hard! I mastered the flip of the wrist and I've never had so much fun folding laundry!

video

Face in the hole

Every time people ask "what we're doing in life" we tell them Josh is currently in massage school and we both work. WITHOUT fail people always respond with variations of "you're so lucky!" "what a fantastic hookup" "that's got to be nice for you!" all of these comments are directed at me. And I have to admit that's what I first thought when Josh wanted to go to massage school. (and he thought I was just being supportive of his dreams ha!) However, every time I get these reactions, I immediately report that I never get a massage because he's ALWAYS in school, and when he's not, he's too tired or busy studying for me to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

I secretly think it kinda bugs him that I say that - like I think he doesn't pay attention to me or something which isn't it at all. I just don't get a weekly massage like people (including myself) think I do/should. And I think I'm justified in my reaction because he's given me 2 massages. Ever. Since he started school an entire year ago.

Last week he was rubbing my shoulders because they hurt and I told him that I really wanted a massage. He looked at me like something was growing out of my head "that's what I'm doing!" he said defensively. I had no idea he thought that counted as a massage. In my mind, a "massage" means he busts out his table (which is currently gathering dust in my office), lotion, candles and Enya and spends at least half an hour not paying attention to anything but me and my aching muscles. (As I write this I suddenly realize that I sound incredibly spoiled and whiny. You should know that I don't expect a regular full blown massage, I realize that's what he does for his work and he can easily get sick of it. I don't expect it, I just enjoy it when it happens.)

From this experience we've coined the phrase "real-live face-in-the-hole massage". We're always trying to better our communication and be more specific to avoid unnecessary discussions (read: fights). So, now I properly ask for a "real-live face-in-the-hole massage", and amazingly, this week I got one! I'm still amazed that sometimes I get what I want simply by asking for it.

I'm also amazed at how good my husband is at what he does. I sometimes forget that he's not a high school boyfriend, whose prime skills have to do with CD players and skateboards, and that he's a grown up who is good at things. It makes me so proud of him! And, even though I'm just the tinsiest bit biased, I have to say he is VERY good at massage therapy.

He's good at a lot of things actually. He's good at fixing stuff, seeing how stuff works, and building things (not to mention your typical man-jobs i.e. reaching high things, carrying heavy things, and opening the pickle jar and stuck on finger nail polish). He did a ton of work on his truck (may the truck rest in peace). He builds things. He can do tile. He is learning more about computers (thank you Redbox) and programming. He can fix the sink when I fill it with potato peels (not that I'm allowed to do that ever again). He can fix my emotional issues and knows a lot about physical health too. I have to say, I really do have the best husband of all time.

I'd like to go on record as saying that he does sometimes give me real-live face-in-the-hole massage and even if he doesn't do it often it's well worth the wait.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Good family fun

In high school I didn't really think of my family (siblings, parents, etc) as my friends. I always rolled my eyes when people said their moms and sisters were their best friends and thought they were lying. Then they grew up and cool enough for me to hang out with (because you KNOW I wasn't the uncool one. At 14 years old, I knew they just weren't fun enough for my tastes) and now I LOOOVE my family. I just can't tell you how nice it is to have cool family members.

After my fantastic dinner with Sarah, on Friday morning I woke up craving family and games. Katy and Randy are some of our favorite people to play games with. Randy somehow brings the level of fun in a game up by about 1,000%. When we play thinking games (settlers, attika, that one train game that I can't remember than name of) he somehow makes it competitive in a good way. All the while coaching (when necessary and appropriate) and complimenting "excellent moves". It's always a good time.

So Friday morning I called Randy and asked if they wanted to come play games. To my pleasant surprise they did! Yay for us! They came up at about 6:00, we made pizza which was FANTASTIC (ever had artichokes on pizza? you should.) and broke out the games. We played a few rounds Attika and then of course had to play Spades. Sometime in the middle of Attika we starting talking about how it was going to be a horrible drive for them and they should just sleep at our house. After all, we have a giant love sac they can use for a bed. At about midnight when we STARTED playing Spades, we knew they were really going to. Ryann was already asleep in the other room, so they could just crash here and leave after breakfast in the morning. Well, we played games until about 1:30, then they watched a movie (they're crazy) afterward. We totally had a sleepover!

I remember thinking that when I was a grown up it would be so cool because I could have sleepovers with anyone I wanted, anytime I wanted. And I wouldn't even have to ask. How cool does that make me? Then I wound up living with everyone I liked, and so sleepovers really never came into play. Once in a while we'd have people stay at our house, but it's been a LOONG time since I've had a sleepover. I love it!

This morning we had waffles (thank you Mulan "in the morning, I'm makin' waffles!") and hard boiled eggs (thank you Gramma Burraston and Easter). They had to pack up and leave early enough for Randy to do a scouting food thing. Josh had to go to school, and now I already didn't sleep in today, so I may as well stay up and clean my house. I'm excited for a fun day after a super-fun night!

The best part is that tonight we're doing games with Jamie and Cameron and Sunday we're going to Josh's family's to play games again. That's the stuff weekends are made of.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Thank goodness for sisters.

Tonight was one of those calm relaxing PERFECT nights. I dropped Josh off at school and met my sister, Sarah, at Sweet Tomatoes for a girls night. This is our favorite restaurant and the place we go every time we go out. Good food, good company it couldn't have been better.

Sarah is one of those people that is easy to talk to about anything. She's open and warm and non-judgemental and something about her just makes me spill my guts every time I see her. Sometimes I don't even have guts to spill but somehow I can sit in a restaurant with her for 2 hours, talk about anything and everything and not even realize we've been there more than 5 minutes.

Tonight we were talking about husbands being gone and how it's hard to adjust to them coming home. I told her that I'm starting to get nervous about having Josh be home all night with me. She related and then we talked more about trouble adjusting and transitioning. It turns out that from the time you are a baby (like 2 months old) one of the few "personality traits" that you can identify is trouble transitioning. The more we talked about it, the more I realized that I have that issue.

She talked about her son who doesn't like to be surprised with things. He likes having a plan and if you throw him for a loop in it (even if it's a good loop) he whines and doesn't like it. I started to kindof laugh, and then realized I do that. I think I make Josh crazy with my constant need to know what we're doing next. I can't enjoy what's happening now if I don't know how it's going to end and the next thing will begin.

Even last week, when Josh surprised me with a fun park date, I just kept asking what we were doing next. I had fun, and it was a fantastic idea, but I couldn't stop thinking about what was next. Sometimes I'm even crazy about it enough to have to know how we will drive somewhere. Josh will take a "different" (read: wrong) turn and I immediately panic. "Where are we going? I thought you were taking me to work. Why are you taking this road instead of the road we normally take?" It drives Josh crazy, and I think I'm a horrible nagging passenger, but I feel really uncomfortable when I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't even like going to restaurants I'm not familiar with because I don't like not knowing how it works.

Not only small transitions bother me, but big ones are sometimes worse. Josh going back to school was emotionally trying for me. Him coming back home is already starting to be hard. Making decisions about changing jobs, moving, committing to a new schedule in anything is scary to me. I like to just do what I did yesterday. I like consistency. I like knowing that tomorrow will be the same as today was.

The best part of all of this crazy talk is that Sarah relates and makes me feel like it's fine to be crazy. "So you know that transition is difficult for you, and you avoid situations that you don't like. When it's unavoidable, you act carefully." She says it like it's no big deal. I have a tendency to over exaggerate things and think it's the end of the world. She has a tendency to realize that life is just the way it is, and knowing is half the battle.

After a fantastic dinner and soothing conversation, I headed home to go on a walk before time to pick up Josh. My mom used to have this magnet on the fridge that was a picture of a chick (like baby chicken, not like girl) and it said "a good friend is cheaper than a therapist". I now get it, I thought I got it before, but now I can really see it. The world would be a better place if more people had sisters like mine.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

J.M. Barrie

One of our favorite differences between our current ward and our old ward is that the activities are geared toward people our age since most people are our age. It's not that our old ward didn't have activities, they just weren't activities I wanted to go to. For example, book group was about the deeper meaning of Neal A. Maxwell's teachings. I don't even get the shallow meaning of his words, and I'm certainly not ready for the deeper meaning. In this ward, book group is reading Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie.

I've seen Disney's weaker, much less desirable version of Peter Pan and I didn't really love it - so I wasn't thrilled to read the book. But, Audra (a nice girl that sits by me in church) said she'd go to book group if I would, so I told her I would. Wow am I glad! What a fantastic book! It's one of those books that is so well written that I just want to read it over and over again. It's certainly not character or plot driven. It's just that I want to read the the actual words. I love the writing style, I want to laugh at the insights, I want to find something else written the same way. I want there to be a sequel, but not because I care what happens to Peter or Wendy or any of the others. I just want more of that. I haven't read something I loved like that for a LONG time.

The other part of book group this month was watching Finding Neverland. Josh went and rented it for me (by the way, Blockbuster is lame and I remembered why we love Redbox) and we watched it together. I seriously cried - and tried not to, but couldn't help it! Sometimes I cry in movies because I want to cry and a movie is a good excuse, sometimes it's because I feel obligated to, and sometimes (rarely) I cry because I seriously can't help it. What a fantastic movie. I have a little crush on Johnny Depp again (my Pirates crush went away), and I want to read a biography of J.M. Barrie. What an amazing story and an amazing life. *Sigh* I just can't express how much I loved both the book and the movie - I will buy them both and make my children read/watch them over and over with me.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Our new arrival: Junior

For Easter this year, since it's a holiday about life and we have no babies and none on the way, we decided to get a plant. A houseplant. This is funny because I have the un-greenest thumb this side of Timbuktu (which I think includes more space than "this side of the Mississippi").
There are a lot of things I do at my job, and some of them are mentally challenging and some of them are not. And some of them make me absolutely 100% crazy because as hard as I try to be qualified, I can't seem to do it. Yes, I can review legal documents for our prestigious attorneys. I can negotiate lease contracts for thousands of dollars. I can have an assistant (well, I will in the future). I can prepare hard core accounting crap for taxes. I can build spreadsheets to analyze the potential ROI, evaluate market conditions and decide if we should purchase a property or not.
I can do a million cool-sounding things. But, watering the office plants is my greatest challenge. Seriously. David has plants all over his house, and I somehow manage to kill them, bring them back to life, and kill them again. They droop. They turn yellow. They turn brown. I even sunburned a palm tree! (I think that takes special skill.) House plants are my kryptonite. So, venturing out to uncharted territory and bringing home our very own plant to love and care for is a stretch for me – but I'm STOKED about it.
Josh and I went plant shopping and of course found the perfect plant. AND the perfect bucket thing for the plant to go in. Then came the hard part. How do we plant it? We want it to grow, so our bucket is quite oversized (but beautiful). Since I have a "issues" (putting it nicely) with watering I was trying to explain to Josh how we need an ugly bucket for the plant to grow in, then a drip pan thing, THEN the beautiful decorative bucket for decoration. He thinks that limit's the plants potential (because the oversized bucket is now too small) and if you "just don't over-water it" you can just put plant in dirt in decorative bucket without having drainage issues. After a phone call to my mom, discussing it with the guy in the store, and debating about how best to care for the newest member of our family we decided to go against everything everybody was telling us and put rocks in the bottom of said decorative bucket, then dirt with plant in it. That way the rocks will act as a reservoir. The best part of our master rock plan is to "just don't over-water it".

We had to use our barbeque tablecloth to protect the carpet.
Look at my beautiful potted plant!

We came home to put our plant in the corner where it will bring life and good energy to the living room. And I must say it looks fantastic. We've decided to call him (not sure why he's a him, but when a plant is a him, there's just no arguing about it….) Junior. The label said he can grow 4 – 6 feet tall, at which point it will be even more fun to call him Junior because he'll be bigger than both of us, and that makes us happy.

The first liquid food he's had....precious huh?


And of course our first family pictures. Of course, it's just like Junior to not make funny faces when it's clearly supposed to be a funny picture. He just marches to the beat of his own drum already. :)

My adorable baby-hungry husband.

I love my husband. I think he is HILARIOUS and fantastic and amazing. And just like any girl on the planet, when we were dating I LOVED that he loved kids. He has young cousins, and I remember walking into his house one day to see an adorable scene.

He was chasing the kids around, and one of his cousins (probably 3 years old) ran up to him and shyly (I think he was embarrassed that he needed help) asked for help with buttoning his pants. Josh whipped the kid around, and without anybody noticing, buttoned and zipped up the pants and the kid ran off laughing and squealing with the rest of them. I know it’s not a big deal to be able to button up a kid’s pants faster than anybody will notice he’s asking for help, but when you’re dating and young and in love, it’s one of those things that makes you go “awwwww….” So I went ‘awww…..’ and Josh looked at me like I was stupid.

He hasn’t changed at all of course, and being the 2nd of 6 kids means he’s had plenty of practice taking care of little ones. He loves to roughhouse with my nephews, his little brothers (only one of whom is actually littler than he is), and any other male that will play. He loves to hold brand new babies and he is getting baby hungry. In fact, he’s been baby hungry for quite some time, but now he’s openly expressing it on a regular basis (like 3-5 times a week).

At church yesterday he practically stole the Sunday School teacher’s baby from her so she could teach her lesson. At my parent’s house he tried to make Ryann play with him all day long. And this morning when he woke up he jumped out of bed all excited.

“Do you know what today is?” He sounded so excited that I almost thought the Easter Bunny had come a day late to our house….then I remembered what day it was.
“Monday.” I groaned.
“Yeah, and I bet Jamie and Cameron are back today!” (Jamie and Cameron went to Washington for a LOOONG time (2 whole weekends), and we miss them desperately.) “Do you think they already have plans for the weekend?”
“I don’t know Josh, I’ll ask them.”
“If not, do you think they’ll let me hold Evie (their 2 month old daughter)?” Seriously, he’s like a kid on Christmas morning!

So Jamie and Cameron, wanna hang out this weekend? If you’re already busy, or have other plans, we’ll miss you, but Josh would love to babysit if you’d like a night out.

Josh is just now getting a taste of the baby hunger that I’ve had for almost 2 years now. I will say that him being that excited about it, makes the blessed event (whenever that winds up being) even more fun than it would have been anyway.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Knock knock. who's there?

I'm still getting used to being the grown-up of the house...and truthfully I'm not very good at it. It makes Josh crazy, but I don't like to talk to people unless I know what they want so I can prepare my response appropriately. So, if the phone rings and it's a number I don't recognize, I don't answer. If it's a number I do recognize, but I can't figure out why on earth they would call me, I don't answer. I ALWAYS listen to my messages and return them, and there are a lot of times I genuinely don't hear my phone or don't have it with me (so don't go around assuming I'm ignoring phone calls from you if I don't answer). But there are just some days I can't handle surprise conversations with people, so I avoid them.

I do the same thing when the doorbell rings - mostly because I'm scared it will be a door to door sales-person and I'm a sucker for salespeople. This causes a problem when you're a Mormon because the Mormons regularly drop by unannounced. Especially when you're new - which we are.

Tonight the doorbell rang, and I was in the bathroom, about to jump in the shower - which means I was blasting country love songs through my whole house and not dressed appropriately to answer the door.

The dilemma is three fold: Fold 1. I was clearly home. Whoever was there would have to be stupid not to notice that ALL of the lights were on and the sounds coming out of my house were not natural "I'm not home" sounds. Fold 2. I didn't want to talk to whoever it was anyway because I didn't know who it was and I don't like talking to people I don't know and secretly I would have avoided answering the door even if I wasn't about to jump in the shower, which I was. Fold 3. There was no way I was going to get dressed and down the stairs, hide the laundry in the middle of my living room, and answer the door before mystery person left.

Needless to say I didn't answer the door, and amazingly I resisted the urge to un-nonchalantly peek out my blinds to see who it was. But, here's my question - what am I supposed to do in those situations? It's rude to not answer the door when you are clearly home (if the lights are off, and you're hiding in your basement, and there is no way they'd know you were home, it's not so rude). And now I feel guilty like I was avoiding someone, only I don't know who it was, and I'm not sure who to feel guilty and awkward around so I'm seriously considering not going to Relief Society on Sunday just to avoid whoever it was that was at my door. *Sigh* Being a grown up and a Mormon is hard sometimes.

Officially Spring

Yesterday I was wearing sandals and took them off and wandered around the house (office) barefoot. Jason, noticed and said something, I told him it was legal to go barefoot in the summertime. He looked at me like I was crazy. Then promptly pointed out that it would be SPRING at 11:58 that night so technically, technically it was still winter.

I don't know what my deal is. I like winter, I like snow, I like clouds, I like dark gray skies. However, I also like flowers, and I'm ready now. I decided that if there isn't going to be snow on the ground, it should be BEAUTIFUL outside, like it is now. It's been the perfect temperature the past few days, not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket!

I love this time of year. You can wash your car, and it won't be covered in road salt within 24 minutes. You can go barefoot outside to grab the mail. You can have water fights in the driveway with the neighbor kids. You can take pretty pictures on temple square. When you leave after dark, it's still plenty warm and you don't HAVE to wear shoes. It is the season of vacations, swimming, hikes, barbeques, picnics, tanning, flowers, open windows, campouts, beautiful colors, family reunions and fresh smells. I LOVE Spring!

I'd like to go on record now as saying that I do NOT love summer. I love spring. I love the change in the season. I hate when it's so hot outside that you can't touch your car, seat belts, go on a walk, or do anything else for more than 2 seconds. I hate sunburns. I hate the dry waves of heat. I hate looking at mirages in the street and realizing that I literally live in the dessert. By mid-July I will be craving winter, snow storms, and crunchy leaves. I will long for the simpler days when all you have to do is brush a couple of feet of snow off the car instead of put gloves on in 105 degree weather before touching anything inside it. I will wish on every star that it will rain, long and hard, and I will take every available opportunity to head up where it's cooler (anywhere up, I don't care where).

So, for these few weeks that the weather is perfect, I will enjoy every possible second of it. I’m putting a chair on my patio, I will sit out there and relish in the sunlight. I’ll read a good book while breathing real air. I’ll eat my lunch on the front porch. I’ll walk down to the park when Josh comes to pick me up from work and meet him there. I’ll wear open toed shoes as many days as possible. I’ll probably pick somebody else’s flowers and put them in my house. (Shh…don’t tell.) I’ll even watch American Idol through my living room window so I can be outside during it. And before too long, I’ll be packing up our camping gear for as many overnighters as possible, and loving that every week there is some celebration, family reunion, event, or trip.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Sunday School answers 101

Last week Josh and I finished listening to the Book of Mormon, and since we're studying it in Sunday School this year, we decided that instead of starting over at the beginning, we'd jump in with the Sunday School lessons, and read the chapters BEFORE Sunday like we're supposed to.

Some interesting things happened.
1. We have more gospel discussions than we used to.
2. I'm more excited to go to Sunday School on Sunday.
3. We participate more in class.
4. We think about what we're reading, so we'll be able to participate instead of just reading because we're supposed to.
5. I like reading scriptures and am more excited about what’s there than I was before.
6. As a result of all of those things, we are more Spiritually Minded (which, by the way, Is Life Eternal).

I've decided that it's a great thing to be doing. It's almost like the church leaders KNEW that good things would happen if members read the scriptures with purpose and prepared for lessons in advance! :)

So, last week our lesson was on 2 Ne. 31 - 33 and Josh and I talked a little about why Christ was baptized. When we first started talking about it we immediately went to Sunday School answers: "to fulfill all righteousness, to set a good example, because it was a commandment" and while we drove in, I was thinking of all of those answers, but decided I wasn't satisfied. "to set an example of what? What am I supposed to be learning here? I already know all of that stuff, and I have for a long time, but there has to be more to it." Suddenly the Sunday School answers just weren't cutting it for me.

After thinking about it, here's what I've come up with. All of those are true. BUT we usually apply them to him and his life, and don't apply it in our lives because it's not natural. "Why did Christ need to be baptized?" naturally changes to "Why do I need to be baptized?" when you're using the ‘liken all scriptures trick’. BUT, what about "Why did Christ need to be baptized? and what situations are like that in my life?" I started thinking that Christ didn't need to be baptized for remission of sins because he was perfect. He didn't need to become a member of the church because there wasn't really an organized church and if there was he was by nature already a member (feel free to argue that point with me, it's not real strong...). BUT, he did need to do the things he'd been commanded to do because they were commandments.

Since we're taught to follow the spirit of the law, I think we sometimes forget the letter of the law. And that might be fine sometimes, but what blessings am I missing out on because I don't think I need them? We think we understand the spirit of the law and if we think it doesn’t apply to us, we don’t have to keep that law.
"I don't need the financial blessings of tithing, so it's OK if I don't pay."
"I don't need my heart turned to my fathers right now in my life, so if I wait until I'm old to genealogy, that's OK."
"I don't need the spiritual blessings of attending the temple this month, so when I feel I need that boost next month, I'll do it then."
"I don't need the physical blessings of obeying the WHOLE Word of Wisdom (not just the coffee, tea, tobacco part) because I'm healthy enough without it."
“If I’m not feeling the spirit at church (which is the whole point of going) because I’m chasing kids, and so is everybody else. I don’t need to go. I’ll get more out of staying home.”
The list goes on. BUT, even though Christ didn't need to be cleansed of sin, he was still baptized. And sometimes, I think we need to do the same. Even if we think we don't need the specific blessings that are tied to a particular commandment (which we probably do even if we don't see a need) we still need to obey those commandments. If nothing else, just so we aren't breaking commandments or ignoring counsel from the prophet.

So, there you go, those are my ramblings and my spiritual insight for the week. If we keep this up, maybe I can have more insight from next week’s lesson too! At least I hope so, I’m liking this being prepared for church thing. :)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Promotion

Today my boss sat me down and told me that I'm getting promoted. Instead of being an Administrative Assistant, I am now the Office Manager. Even though they sound exactly the same to me it means - more responsibility and more money! Yay!

The title isn't really anything that exciting to me. I'm not really into titles. I'm just happy about more money. :) Although, when I told Josh, I heard this weird edge of concern in his voice, then I asked if he was still going to be OK with me not working when we start having kids. That's always been the plan, but I think it freaks him out to think that we wouldn't have my income - and the more I make the harder it will be when it come times for me to stop working.

I've always been a little scared of quitting work (I have this underlying fear that I won't be a good mom) and I think I'm feeling the same way. But, since I don't know when we'll be having kids, I figure it doesn't do any good to worry about it until it's an issue - so here I am being excited about my promotion.

One of the coolest things about this is that they are going to be replacing our Accounts Payable person with an Administrative Assistant who will do a little bit of bookkeeping. BUT, this person will also be my assistant. I'm going to have an assistant! I'll be "over" 2 people, and doing the interviewing/hiring of the new person coming up shortly. How nuts is that?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Don't forget the lyrics

Sometimes people put discs that are not the DVD they rented from Redbox back into the machine in an attempt to not get charged. It doesn't work, but they do it anyway. For us, it means that we get to listen to some random CD's that we would never otherwise listen to.

A while ago Josh got a country Karaoke CD. I turned it on last night while we were working and was AMAZED at how few lyrics I know. Actually how few songs I know. The song would start, I’d immediately recognize that I knew and had heard the song – but I couldn’t place it. Until the chorus started and the harmony came in with the words. Even when I could place the song, I couldn’t remember any of the words – and even if I did know the words, I couldn’t place how long the intro was. So, Josh and I drove around “singing” the wrong words, to the wrong tune, to the songs on the CD. If you happened to be subjected to the horrible sounds coming from our car – we apologize for putting you through that, but it’s seriously harder than you’d think! Those American Idol contestants have a hard job and I have a new appreciation for what they do.

The emotional roller-coaster that is me.

Recently my friend Aubrie wrote a tribute blog about how so many people are so good and have influenced her life for the better. This is just further evidence of her sainthood, something I’ve never really doubted. Aubrie is one of those incredibly good Christ-like people who always looks for the best in other people. Just this morning, I decided I am not.

Last night was one of those crazy emotional nights. I’ll spare you all the details, but between 5 and 7:30 I went to all extremes of feeling grumpy, ecstatic, productive, frustrated, happy, irritated, and whooped. The forte being just after we got home, and Josh and I were trying to decide what to do.

Josh’s mom gave us a John Bytheway CD for Easter one year about what he wish he’d known when he was a newlywed. He and his wife talk about compromising, and tell some funny stories. They did say that they use the rating system when they are choosing what to do. “bowling. John: 7 John’s wife:9; go out to a movie. John: 3 John’s wife: 5; ice cream and walking. John: 9 John’s wife: 8” and then they pick the thing with the seemingly highest score. What it prevents is 2 people doing something neither of them want to do because they think the other one wants to do it. For us it also makes us figure out what we want to do.

For example, last night before we got home, Josh said he’d go on a walk with me, or go over to the clubhouse to exercise. When we got home, I was waiting for him to say he wanted to go, because I didn’t want to make him go if he didn’t want to. “So, what do you want to do tonight?” I prompted him.
“mmmm I don’t care. Do you want to rub me feet?”
“umm….if you want me to I guess I could.” (you should know that Josh loves to have his feet rubbed, and he doesn’t love walking. I knew that he didn’t want to go over to the clubhouse and he know I did.)
“OK.” He said hopefully. (He does this really annoying thing where he pretends not to notice when I grudgingly agree to do something I don’t want to do. He just takes the words at face value and says he isn’t obligated to guess what I’m thinking behind the words – when I write it down it seems much more reasonable on his part, but in real life I think it’s completely unfair and he should have to guess what I’m thinking because 1. I’m his wife and that’s what he’s supposed to do. 2. I should be exempt from telling him what I really want and he should just know.)
“Actually I don’t really want to” (I remembered the rule that if I just say what I want, he probably won’t make me do something I don’t want to do.)
Sad rejected face from Josh.
“What else would you like to do?” I asked.
“Well, I would go to the clubhouse if you rub my feet first.” Now he’s started the bartering which just makes me mad. I shouldn’t have to earn the right to do something fun with my husband! (hysteria is starting to set in.) What does he think I am? His slave? He’s the one who married me! Why do I have to work before I get to have fun when he just gets to start having fun right away! My life is so unfair.
“We don’t have to go to the clubhouse.” Even though he’s not obligated to read my tone – sometimes he does, and this is one of the times that he couldn’t have missed the put out tone in my voice.
“Let’s do the rating thing.” He suggested
And just like that he saved our night!
Out to a movie: Me 3, Josh 5;
Clubhouse: Me 9, Josh 5;
Go on nice mellow romantic walk around our neighborhood while holding hands and talking about life and the future and stuff (you’ll never guess who thought of that idea) Me 10, Josh 2;
eating ice cream: Josh 9, Me 4;
Go on a nice mellow romantic walk around Temple Square holding hands and talking about life and the future and stuff (sometimes just changing one element gets you a lot closer to what you want!) Me 10, Josh 4 (2 point increase isn’t bad)
Watching a movie at home: Josh 8, me 8
“So, why don’t we watch a movie and you eat ice cream from our freezer?” I suggested. Josh didn’t want ice cream from the freezer, then we had to rate all of the ways we could get ice cream. Turns out Josh wanted to go to Nilson’s Frozen Custard – so we went. After pulling on our most comfortable pajama pants and hoodies, we left.

We’ve never been there, but we’ve driven by it, and I’ve been told that it’s fantastic. It’s a crazy busy place on the weekends, and when we pulled up to the drive through, they had papers taped up to where the lighted menu would normally be – so we couldn’t see anything until we were right in front of it. And we didn’t even have a clue what kind of thing we wanted. I asked what a “concrete” was, and the kid working the window sighed an annoyed sigh and said it was a really thick shake. I was looking for something that sounded good even though I didn’t want ice cream in the first place, while Josh was telling me what he wanted. The annoying kid in the window got back on the thing and barked at me that people (1 car behind me) were waiting and I needed to order. I cried. And ordered. I didn’t get anything because I felt too pressured, so we just ordered what Josh wanted and waited in the rest of the drive through line (pulling forward almost 2 whole inches before having to stop in the line again!)

I have to admit, I was not looking for the best in that kid, or even giving him the benefit of the doubt. It didn’t even cross my mind until this morning that he probably had a long icky night – he had to work on a Friday night instead of whatever else he wanted to do. He was trying to get as many people through the store as possible because it was SWAMPED inside. Tons of people. So his rude remark to me probably wasn’t anything personal. But, I totally cried all night long. I cried the whole way home, and in the grocery store where I got my ice cream. Sometimes it’s embarrassing to be so emotional – but I couldn’t help it! He made me feel stupid so I cried!

We got home, I ate WAY too much Ben & Jerry’s and watched Dan in Real Life (Which, by the way, was NOTHING like the previews made it look, but was still good. I’ve officially added that soundtrack to my soundtrack wishlist.) before going to bed. In all, it was a fantastic night – and a sucky night. That must be what Dickens was talking about in A Tale of Two Cities.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Alaska here we come!

Josh and I have officially decided to be irresponsible and completely un-grown-up. And we’re happy about it. Josh has been in school since I met him, and in May he will be done, which is THRILLING to me. I can’t even tell you how excited I am to NOT be quizzing him on anatomy (not as exciting as it sounds). Plus, since he’ll be done with massage school, I might get a massage every once in a while. AND as an added bonus, I get my husband back!

Well, in celebration of that, and being married for 2 years, and getting a bonus from Redbox – we’re going on a cruise. An Alaskan cruise to be more specific. We’ll leave from Seattle on July 19th, and spend our anniversary “at sea” heading up to Juneau. Next we’ll hit Hubbard Glacier (which according to JP the cool sales dude is the “coolest of all the glaciers”, I don’t think he was trying to be punny, but he was), then to Sitka. From there we got to Ketchikan (which I just learned out to say – ask me and I’ll do it for you, I’m practicing until we get there) and Victoria and back to Seattle.

Here is my short list of reasons this is going to be an AWESOME trip.

1. You have to have a passport to go. I’m not sure why, but I think that makes a trip much cooler. It’s not like we’re really leaving, we’re just in Victoria (barely Canada which is barely not the US) for a few hours, but I’m counting it as leaving the country. I don’t have a passport (I know, I’m working on it now!) and never have, which means this is a big step for me.
2. It’s ALASKA! Tell me how that’s not cool. I dare you.
3. We’re going all by ourselves. Now, for most people, that probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but the farthest we’ve been from home all by ourselves is St. George. So, it’s still a big deal. If you’re interested in coming on the same cruise, you’re hereby officially invited, and we won’t be sad about losing this RFAT (Reason For an Awesome Trip).
4. It’s seriously going to be cold. Like glaciers and stuff in July. Last year in July we went to St. George. It was not cold. It was hot. This will be cold….or at least not hot.
5. Seriously, it’s Alaska!
6. We get to spend a whole day “at sea”. I’ve never spent a whole day at sea – but I seriously can’t think of anything cooler. The ship is beautiful, the sea is beautiful and the food is endless, it doesn’t get better than that.
7. We’re married. The last time we went on a cruise we were not. (Also not as fun as it sounds). We went with Spencer and Stephanie and Spencer’s family (Josh’s friends from high school). I shared a room with Steph, and Josh with Spence. They were in engaged, we were engaged, it sucked - the cruise was awesome. It just sucked that we weren’t married. This time there will be no curfew, 1 big bed, and no need to stay in large groups. Marriage rocks.
8. Last but certainly not least, we get to see my wayward brother on the way there! OK That’s funny because my brother isn’t wayward at all, he just doesn’t live in Utah. Since we’ll be so close, we’ll go out and hang out with Spencer and Em and their 3 kids. We don’t get to see them enough, so it will be cool to see them and hang out if we can (can we come hang out Em?).

And that’s just the short list! Just wait until I get to the long list. *sigh* This is going to be the summer of freedom, irresponsibility, and fun.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Which came first the Byrds or Solomon?

This morning was a good music morning. I frequently use my blog as my own personal radio station when I'm at work since I don't have a radio, but I do have a computer and my blog has a lot of my favorite songs. So, this morning during the silence of breakfast, I "turned on" my blog.Josh looked over at me with a puzzled expression on his face.

"That's a good song." He said hesitantly.
"Thank you."
"That's weird." He responded.

Josh and I don't always agree about music. We both like country, but that's about it. He grew up on FM 100 and I CAN'T STAND that station except on Sundays. Yes, they have some good songs once in a while, but I don't and can't listen to it all day every day, and the annoying morning DJ's make me crazy. I like 101.9 and he calls it "angry girl music" and immediately changes the station if I turn it on. I'm OK with that, and we don't really fight over it, we just both know we don't agree.

However, this morning he was shocked to find that he liked a song on my blog. I think he forgot that we really do like some of the same music, just not all of it.

On the way to work, as I was frantically searching for anything worth listening to, we found "Turn! Turn! Turn!" by the Byrds. We listened and I explained to Josh that in Jr. High my seminary teach (Brother Evans) made us listen to this song when we studied that scripture in the Old Testament.

"What scripture?"
"The one that has the same words as these lyrics." I paused waiting for the light to click on above his head. The one only I can see.
"This is in the scriptures?" He asked. "Do you think they took the words from the scriptures?"
"No dear, I think that Solomon took the scriptures from the 60's band the 'Byrds'" I tried my hardest not to sound too much like the "here's your sign" guy – but when you're saying something so simple it's hard. Josh thought about that for a second, then decided to argue his point so he didn't feel so dumb.
"You know those Old Testament prophets were pretty….prophetic. Maybe he saw them making that song and decided it sounded like good scripture so he put it in there." I have to admit, Josh is good at thinking outside the box that's for sure. And while I don't agree with his idea, I have to give him kudos for creatively arguing his point.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Guiltlessness

I’ve made a decision. I will no longer feel guilty about not being productive all night when Josh is gone. My new productivity-curfew is 10pm.

With Josh and I getting up and going to work at the same time every day, I can’t get over the fact that he keeps going all night long and doesn’t get home until 11:00 every night. I get this overwhelming sense of guilt when he comes home to me sitting on the couch watching TV. I know he’s working himself to death, and it makes me think I should too. Until this week. I usually come home, clean, do laundry, my nighttime job, read, try to better myself in some way and then crash just before he gets home. It occurred to me that I don’t necessarily need to feel guilty about that, and since I don’t particularly enjoy the guilt, I quit. I can be as productive as I want before 10:00, laundry, dishes, walking, working, etc. But at 10:00 my night belongs to me and that’s OK. Josh is at school, and he’s working hard, and learning, but he also gets a massage every week, and his school is all about relaxing, restructuring and therapeutic stuff. So, the trade off is that I get to quit my day an hour earlier than he does.

It might be stupid to think it needs to be even, but I really do. I guess that isn’t really even, but I’m calling it good. No more guilt after 10:00.

So, here I am doing whatever I wan, which happens to be blogging about how it’s OK that I’m blogging. I’m sick. Seriously sick.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Just like mom

We’ve now lived in our house for 2 months, and for the first time I finally made it over to the clubhouse. I was excited to have a clubhouse, but just haven’t made the time to go and use it.

Maybe it’s because on Sunday my mom told me she joined a gym, which makes her cooler than me, but I decided that Monday was the day I would run over and check it out. I figured that it’s maybe half a mile away (I watched the odometer when we drove by one day) which means I’d jog a mile (counting both ways) and go do a bike machine or something while I was there.

As it turns out, it was kinda cold and I didn’t feel like taking the real roads, so I cut across the common area and between people’s houses and in reality probably walked 1/10 of a mile to get there instead. BUT, I got there and did the treadmill for a mile and half, and biked for almost 2 miles. I know it’s silly, but I’m kinda proud of myself for doing it. AND it wasn’t hard because there is a big nice TV there, so I can just watch something and before I know it, I’ve gone a lot farther than I thought I would! So, tonight the plan is to walk while I watch American Idol, and hopefully I’ll get addicted to this routine. Who knows, I’ve been addicted to crazier things.

I hereby resolve to use my beautiful clubhouse at least 3 more times this week.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Let's Go Fly a Kite

When Josh and I went to Oregon with our parents, my mom and dad bought a really cool trick kite from the coolest kite shop I’ve ever been in. My dad has wanted to play with it ever since, so yesterday, because there was wind, we figured we’d try it out. It was SOOO cold! And it made SUUUCH a mess of the kite string. But oh man did we have fun.
We tried to get it up, but I think the wind was too strong so it was hard to control the thing – hopefully next time they’ll have more luck. In the process we created the mother of all knots.

(The main focus of the picture is Dallin - he didn't bring a coat, so he wore my dad's sweatshirt - it was a little too big. In the background you can see Dad walking in the door carrying the string - in a knot)

I remember reading a book when I was a kid about a really big knot. There was some impossible knot at the school and nobody could ever undo it. Then the mysterious stranger moved into the area the knot magically came undone a little at a time. To be honest I’m not sure I remember the point of the story – in fact I bet there was deeper meaning to the knot, but I don’t have a clue what it was.

I just remember the mental image in my head (possibly an illustration from the book) of a boy with a round face and small nose, laying on his back on a school desk, with a BIG knot hanging by 1 string from something above (assumed ceiling). At that point I also decided that conditioner and no-tears no-tangle was a hoax because if it really worked the kids in the book would have just sprayed some on the knot and run a comb through it.

I wonder what book that is – maybe it’s not real and I’m just making the whole thing up, but I’m really not that creative, so I bet it exists somewhere. I almost want to link it with Maniac Magee, but I think that Maniac Magee is more about a kid who runs fast….

ANYWAY this was a big knot of kite string and took pretty much the rest of the night to undo. Next time we fly the kite, we’ll hope for warmer weather and less wind – but still enough to keep the thing in the air. I can’t wait till we learn how to do tricks with it!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I'm back!

I am officially finished with the Twilight series (or at least finished to the extent that everybody else on the planet is finished - waiting in suspense for the next one), which means I will no longer neglect my responsibilities. Instead of staying up reading until my eyes are red and the lids too heavy to stay open, I will go to bed at a reasonable hour, read the scriptures while I dry my hair and spend much less time on the love-sac and trying to invent new ways to read while I cook without ruining a book.

It's amazing to me how much those books took over my life. They were good, fantastic even - but to take over real life? Why I care more about vampires, werewolves and people that don’t exist living in a place I've never heard of is beyond me - but nevertheless it is me. It's not just these books either. I'm a fairly quick reader, so usually these phases only last a few days (at most) but to be sucked into a series of novels is my own kryptonite. I zone out. Completely. Until I'm finished. Until I know the only thing stopping me from reading is that there is nothing to read.

Josh does it with movies – when he was sick he watched all of the Matrix movies (edited) and wouldn’t/couldn’t focus on anything else until he knew how they ended.

I do it with books. I even do it with books I don’t think are that great. I have this compelling need to finish them. I remember doing it when I was younger too. I specifically remember reading something about a frog (or cricket maybe…) in times square and it was past bedtime. I shared a bed and room with my sister, so I took the side by the door, which I would leave cracked just enough to light the words on the page. I’d lean over the edge of the bed, put the book on the floor, with one arm dangled over the edge to hold my spot and read in the dark. I’d listen carefully for when someone was coming down the stairs, hoping not to get caught.

Well fortunately I have nothing to worry about now, I can go back to life, stop neglecting my husband, and my house. Maybe I’ll even get back into a routine of cooking and cleaning – that would be a beautiful thing.

Now as soon as American Idol (another, more embarrassing addiction) is down to 1 hour and 2 nights a week instead of this ridiculous 2 hours 3 nights a week thing, imagine how productive I can be!

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Picnic at the Park


Yesterday was such a beautiful day that on the way to work we decided that Josh would take me on a picnic for lunch. We went to memory grove and thoroughly enjoyed how warm and beautiful it was! I'm not one to be a winter-hater by any means, but the sunshine felt so good, and everything smelled nice, and it was an undeniably beautiful day. Even for a winter-lover you can't beat that.


I am suddenly excited for spring/summer. Josh will be out of school in May (and the peasants rejoiced) and we can go camping all the live long day. I'm thrilled! I can't wait for another fun filled summer of adventure, bonding, bbq's, badminton, swimmin', campfires, s'mores, Alexander Lake, slip 'n slides, and most importantly NO SCHOOL! It's like I'm back in elementary school and summer is the essence of my life. I can't imagine anything better than the ultimate freedom that comes with summertime!
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